Friday, August 7, 2015

11 Things To Not Say To Someone With Mental Illness.

As someone with a mental illness that is various levels of out, depending on the platform and situation.  for example on This blog, YouTube, and Tumblr I am fully out about my bipolar. On Google+ and Twitter I am sorta out, as I will post articles and things about it.  Then we come to Facebook, work and most of my social life where I am not out about it at all.  In those realms people have a general idea that I have some sort of mental issue simply because they know me and have seen some examples of it, but don't know what it is, or how serious it is.  In a lot of those areas of my life there are people that say things that really annoy the heck out of me as someone that has a mental illness, then there are things that just the general public say too. So in this blog post I thought that I would share some of those things.

Monday, August 3, 2015

New Blog, New Story Posted.

So I have posted a new story on my new spin off blog A North West View Stories.  I really enjoyed writing the story.  It is published on my new blog, and is definitely a story for the 18 and over crowed (like the warning on the blog says) so it.  Here is the link Thoroughly Used By Security  Until next time dear readers.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Writing A New Story

So I have been working on writing a new story, that will be posted on my new blog that I spun off of this one when I took the last story that I wrote off of this one and putting it on my new blog (so that I could take that age warning off of this blog) you can find my new blog here

This is a teaser from the new story that I am working on.
""no" replied Jeremy as he closed the distance between them, "there is just something that I need to share with you" he continued until he was barely one step away from running right into John, all the while never braking eye contact.

"what is it that you need to share with me?" John asked even more unsure of what was going on then he had been a few moments ago.

After a moments silence John feels Jeremy place a hand on the small of his back and another on the back of his head, then with out a moments pause Jeremy pulls him against him self and their lips meet, feeling the pressure and the heat of Jeremy's lips against his, John loosens up in into Jeremy's advance. No sooner then that dose he feel Jeremy's tongue attempting to part his lips and gain entry into his mouth, after another moments surprise John grants Jeremy's tongue entry into his mouth, where it darts around as if trying to claim as much territory as possible.  Soon enough John joins in the battle and starts batting Jeremy's tongue finally making an advance into Jeremy's mouth where he is finally able to find out what the man that has made such a sudden move on him taste like, a taste that he finds strangely intoxicating."

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Tick Tock by Dean Koontz, A Review.

So it is time for another book review, after a long hiatus from reading, where I did not make time in my day to do so, I have started up again.  And the first book in that list was Ticktock by Dean Koontz.  I picked it up at the book store mid day, and by that evening I had read the book cover to cover.  I absolutely not put the book down, to the point that I would get irritated when other people would interrupt and make me put it down.  The book grabs you from the start and never lets go, never leaving you a spot that you would even think of being able to put it down and pick it up latter.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Disastrous Day

So today was not a good day at all, my sleep has been screwy for a little while now because work has been bouncing me all over the place, from opening to closing and back again.  Well last night I forgot on of my medications, which was not good.  I could not get to sleep, at like 2:30 I finally took a couple of ibuprofen PM's and finally got to sleep around 3:30 and was fitfully away around 5:00 and fully awake by 6:00 so I only got about 3 hours of sleep.  Which did me in, I started my day with anxiety through the roof.  I really should have just called into work, but I did not want to because I did not want to lose the hours and risk losing insurance coverage for the up coming month. So I went to work, and that did not turn out well at all as my anxiety did not go away and only got worse, and then on top of that I went from feeling I could do it and that things would turn out OK in the end, to starting to be really down and depressed, which only made things worse.  So about an hour and a half into my day I finally asked to go home early as I was doing so poorly.  My manager was not happy with that and wanted to know if I had something I could take for it, which I don't, and honestly the last thing I want is to have another pill added to what I already take. And then guilt tripped me about leaving.  Which did not help things at all, as it only made me feel even shittier, for needing to leave early.

I got home and immediately climbed into bed and sort of hugged my legs up into my chest and sat that way for a while, going through Facebook trying to distract myself from how I was feeling, and did that for a while before I curled up under my blankets and took a long nap.  I woke up feeling much less anxious, but still down.

At this point I have come down of of the anxiety but now I am feeling quite down, upset and weak. I hate feeling like this, and I hate that it is part of my life to have things like this happen to me.  It feels like I am constantly being tested, and I am so tired of being tested.  I just at this point hope that I pull out of the dumps and that it is not the start of any length of period in them. I know they say what dose not kill you only makes you stronger, but honestly right now I don't feel any stronger and if that was true I feel I should be able to bench press and auto dealership, but right now I don't even think I could do that to a leaf.

I hope that things get better but I just need to share this.
Until next time dear readers.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Update & My Weight Loss Success

So it has been a while since I have last posted, things have been very hectic on my side of the screen. I have been helping with some home improvement projects, I helped my dad and brother put a deck in our old wood shed, to put a new BBQ in to help keep it out of the rain.  Then we are in the middle of putting new decking and railings on the existing deck (we kept the old framing but did some beefing up) I have also been busy with friend.  I had someone that I went on a few dates with, who seemed like a great guy.  However that ended abruptly, as 3 days after our second date (a candle lit watching of a move at his house) I tried to set up a third date, and sometime in those 3 days he had entered into an exclusive relationship with some one else.  It was something that he had neglected to tell me until I tried to set up a up the third date, yet he was willing to talk to me via text every day up until then.  He gave me the line that I was a great guy and someone would be very lucky to get me, and that he wanted to be friends.  Being friends was not something that I was interested in as honestly I felt like I had been lead on, and that I was the second choice, the back up plan.  So I deleted him from my phone and have not contacted him since. (nor has he contacted me) Part of the reason that I was upset was due to the fact that I had become emotionally invested enough that I was ready to tell him that I was bipolar, which is not something that I do willy nilly, as not many people in my life know that about me, that and I did not want him to feel like I had lead him on when I finally did tell him and give him a chance to get out before things got to far. I know I was sort of more mad at myself for letting myself get that invested.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

The Moral Corruption Of The Religious Right

The hypocrisy never seems to stop with those that are on the religious right, with the latest example of Josh Dugger having to step down from his position at the hate group Family Research Council after it came out that he has molested several young girls, including some of his sisters.  All of which the Dugger family worked to cover up.  Yet they campaigned against gay marriage and trans rights Michelle Dugger going so far as to say trans people are a threat to children, She even had a crew member fired from the show back in 2008 for being gay "because he was a threat to her kids" souly because of his sexuality.  As if that is not bad enough Mick Huckabee has said that it is an attempt by the media to bring the family down and that the media and those that want them removed from TV (and punished for) over what they have done and been a party to are just wrong and mean spirited,  It is utterly mind blowing the hypocrisy

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Moving Is No Fun

So I have spent the last 2 days packing up everything in my room (the sized of a good sized studio apartment) as well as packing out all the stuff stored in a spare bedroom up stairs, to allow my brother and his Fiance to move into my room this coming long weekend.  It has been one heck of a battle as I had a lot of stuff to move or which 90% of all my stuff is going to wind up going into storage, including all my nick nacks which includes all the things (not many) that I got after my grandparents (on dads side) passed away years ago.  The only thing of theirs that is going to be able to make it into my new room is a piece of artwork. Which is something that has gotten me down at the moment. It did force me to sort through my stuff and get read of things that I did not need, (or want enough to bother packing and putting in storage)

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Long Time No See.

So I have been a bad blogger and fallen off the face of the earth for a while, in part just because of the holidays, but also because I just don't seem to manage my time well enough to allow myself to sit down and with myself, to just be and to collect my thoughts, let alone to sit down and write.   Which is something that I really want to start to work on, as I need to try and carve out time to do just that, instead of incessantly distracting myself from the time I get up until the time that I go to bed. I think that this is something that I want to try to focus on doing this year (I know that it is pretty late to be coming up with a New Years resolution, but when it comes to that thing who says you have to be on time)

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Is this car too gay?

So im thinking of buying a new car, which happens to be totally impractical, a Mini roadster convertible. 2 door 2 seat, huge trunk especially for a convertible.  But i wounder if it is too gay, dose it look cool or like something that should be driven in a pride parade with those inside wraped in rainbow flages and feather boas.

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