Monday, March 31, 2014

In The Bipolar Closet


As some of you may know yesterday March 30th was the very first International Bipolar Day, a day that is supposed to help raise awareness about Bipolar Disorder and to also help and eliminate the stigma that surrounds it. Well I found myself watching a steady stream of post celebrating that day and doing just what the day is intended to do, to put a face to bipolar disorder and do their little part to work at ending the stigma.  I found my self wanting to like those post to show support for them, but in the end (like everyday something good or interesting about it pops up in my news feed) I did not like the post, out of fear of my friends, and even extended family seeing not only that I liked the post but the page that the post where posted in. I know this may sound odd to all of you seeing as how I share that about my self on this blog, but in real live hardly anyone knows about it at all, least of all my friends and coworkers.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Trying It Without The Crutch Of Medication


I know it has been a while since my last post, I have been doing OK, in a bit of a rut but not bad. So once again I have really been struggling lately with taking my medications, (how ever I have been strictly adhering to them) and wanting to be off of them for a number of reasons. I have once again had somethings come across my desk so to speak that have again stocked my mistrust of medication and psychiatry at large

Monday, February 3, 2014

3 Years With Out Dating, Is It Time To Try?


Well it has been awhile since my last post and I have been doing well, still feeling a little adrift spiritually but starting to pull the pieces together to help deal with that.  I have over all been doing ok, although I am still pumped that my Seahawks won the Super Bowl by a blow out!! Yeah the game may have been a little boring for the non Hawks fan but for me it was a great game to watch! Now that that is all out of the way I would like to take about something that has been weighing on my mind for quite some time now and that is if after almost 3 years I should jump back into the dating pool.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Spiritually Adrift


So it has been a while since my last post, I am doing quite well I have just be busy and well have not made the time that I need to actually do a post, along with neglecting to make time to do other things that I enjoy. So one of my goals for the New Year is to try and make time in my day/week to do those things.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Music Can Sooth The Soul

Today and yesterday has been one of those days at work. It has been heck in no small part due to the fact that our which of a regional has been in the store.  I thought though that I would share with you guys some songs that I love.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Mental Health Stigma Disguised As Fact


As if there where not enough reasons to dislike and not trust Fox New with their lies and sensationalism, here is another glaring example, and this one dose not involve politics, or anything about a person that is something that they have made a choice about.  No this one is about something that people have no say in whether it exist as part of them selves or not, it is about mental illness, and like is typical of Fox News it is shoddy "commentating" that fails to get all the facts behind it, in order to paint a sensationalist even fear inducing talking point.  In this case it falsely reinforces many stigmas that people with mental illness have to deal with in daily life and that keep meany from seeking the help that they need, or when they get it disbelieving that the problem is real.  They are lies that make people that already have a challenging road to walk feel all that much more ashamed, isolated and like social outcast and pariahs.  To be fair this is something that permeates society and media as a whole but in this case it is all that much abhorrent being that it is coming from a "news" source.  In this case from Bill O'Reily, on his show the O'Reily Factor.  Watch the clip after the jump.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Crossed Signals


So as some of my readers have noticed I have had to change the settings on my blog to make it "age restricted" I have done that because I have decided to share the story that I have spent the last couple of days writing, and well as you could have probably guessed from the teaser it has some adult themes to. The title is a working one so if you guys have any suggestions, or any feedback I would love to hear it.  So with out further adieu, I hope you enjoy.

Samuel woke up as the summer sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, lighting the dark room with a faint orangeish glow, he looked around the strange room taking in his surroundings, before taking a peek over to the other side of the bed where Jason lay still sound asleep. As the events of the evening rushed back to him Samuel realized that he had broken his one rule and that was to never go home with a guy on a first date, to never fall for the one night stand in disguise. As shame filled Samuel he surveyed the room shoes and clothes strewn everywhere, trying to pick out his from the mess.  he carefully got out of the bed sure not to disturb Jason in the process. Having spotted his boxers tossed on the floor in front of the window he quickly slipped into them, his tall slender body lit by the glowing light coming in the window, casting shadows on him that accentuated his exquisite swimmers build.  He found his pants next, crumpled on the floor at the foot of the bed, where they had been shed the night before, in a desperate attempt to remove as much fabric from between the two of them as possible.  He struggled for a few moments trying to slip into them as quietly as he possibly could.  He then stood there trying to locate his shirt which seemed to have disappeared into thin air until he noticed it lying next to the closet door just inside the bedroom door, just a step away were his shoes where they had been kicked off the night before as well.  

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Felling Creative


I know that some of you have been worried about me and how I have been doing, I am really starting to feel better.  Matter of fact I have been feeling creative lately and I have started to write, and a story at that which is something that I don't often do.  I thought that I would share a little taste of it with you so after the jump is the first paragraph of my story. (8 pages so far)

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Hiding In The Sand


I find that I feel like a bad person lately for my total lack of engaging in the current events going on in the world around me on any meaningful level, scientific topics on the environment, politics all the way up to current events in Syria, where I know just the most basic facts from the odd news headline or post that drifts past me on Facebook where I don't even really read them at all. (and I have a couple of friends, one in particular that is very plugged into all of that) I don't watch the news, the most news I get is reading the local headlines of the local paper online, not even reading the stories.  I feel like as an adult I should be plugged into those things, and that it is part of my responsibility as one to be as well informed as I can possibly be, yet I am in effect hiding my head in the ground to the world around me. this is something that had been gnawing away at me in the back of my mind for a while until it suddenly came into sharp focus.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Not bad bad.

Sorry if I have frightened any of my readers with my expressions of my inner feelings.  I am in now way a threat to myself right now.  I plan on speaking to my doc on Monday.

I have done a self depression test and fall into the lower rang of moderet-sever which for me is a "not bad" level as I have no self harmful to my self. I just have no interest in anything nor any reall hope about the future. But I still function mostly well I just dont really want to do it, and tend to feel overwhelmed and pissed of much more easily.

But in a strange way even though it is not a great place to be I it is somehow still a comfort too.

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